Diwali is around the corner and festive mode is on. I was just chatting with a cousin yesterday regarding the preparations and I suddenly had this happy realization, I have almost turned into my mom and grandma gradually. My ma and grandma are these superwomen who ace everything they touch. Both are a perfect blend of housewife plus working women in their own unique way.
My grandma helped my grandpa with all the responsibilities of farm and various subsidiary ways of income which came along with farming, while he concentrated with his full time job. Almost 50 years back, she had power and independence to spend the money she earned on whatever she liked. I have heard stories from my ma and uncles how she used to take them to city, buy them gifts , jewelry and take them to watch movies etc all by herself. When she turned into a grandmother, she soften a little and she decided to go with the flow and learned what all we liked. She learnt to bake cakes, make ice-creams, accompany us in buying western clothes that we liked. I had never seen a granny baking cakes and cookies before. (Especially because it’s not our tradition).
My ma was a next step ahead. She used to surprise us with beautifully tailored dresses. We would never ever see a thread lying anywhere and no one could guess if the dress is market bought or sewed at home. Designing them, buying laces, matching hair bands, when I think of it now, I dont know from where did she get so much time and patience to do it. As we grew up, our likes started to change, we liked Chinese, Continental food too along with our own. My mom took every cooking classes she could take in our small city. I remember she learnt to bake Black Forest cake and replaced the rum with cola. There was a time where you name a dish and it’s in front of you that evening. She used to try to incorporate healthy nutrients, replace unhealthy ones without compromising on taste. We used to get irritated as teenagers, why does she make everything at home, it’s so much pain, especially when you can go to restaurant and have it. She used to spend hours cooking for us in the era of two minutes noodles.
I remember one incident. I stayed away from home for my undergrad years, I just complained mom of being tired eating mess food and feel like eating puran poli and katachi amti (traditional maharashtrian-Indian delicacies). Same evening after coming home from college, I was welcomed with those and my mom who cooked for 3 hours and drove for 4 hours just to fulfill my wish. When I go back in time and think about it, it makes me cry how selfless love can make you.
I was never like her. I used to tell my dad “I am never going to toil in kitchen” I have lived with at least 30 roomies in my life and all will agree I would never ever go to kitchen to cook. I would rather help cleaning the mess later.
But I don’t know what changed gradually that I started taking interest in cooking. I have developed a passion for making sure I have tried all those dishes that I and my family like. I began to get addicted to doing it because I realized there is a difference in market bought and hand made. Same difference as rented house vs own house. Or handmade greeting vs store bought one. You get an emotional satisfaction. It’s a product made of love and care towards your family. I never knew love can also be expressed this way. It doesn’t have to be rosy pink flowers , date nights or gate away or expensive gifts.
Indians believe in traditions of fasting for your partner, but I believe in expressing my love by feeding. There are few things that money can’t buy and satisfaction is one of them. This is a transaction where you give and gain satisfaction. It’s win win situation either ways. I salute all those beautiful hearts who take so much pain and efforts so that the family is well fed. If your wife/husband/mom/dad do it for you, you are the luckiest person. I learnt it very late in my life, did not give justice to my mom or grandma for showering us with so much love. Even if one person reads and realizes it, it would be like a tribute I pay to my grandma who is not with us and I miss her very much.
My grandma helped my grandpa with all the responsibilities of farm and various subsidiary ways of income which came along with farming, while he concentrated with his full time job. Almost 50 years back, she had power and independence to spend the money she earned on whatever she liked. I have heard stories from my ma and uncles how she used to take them to city, buy them gifts , jewelry and take them to watch movies etc all by herself. When she turned into a grandmother, she soften a little and she decided to go with the flow and learned what all we liked. She learnt to bake cakes, make ice-creams, accompany us in buying western clothes that we liked. I had never seen a granny baking cakes and cookies before. (Especially because it’s not our tradition).
My ma was a next step ahead. She used to surprise us with beautifully tailored dresses. We would never ever see a thread lying anywhere and no one could guess if the dress is market bought or sewed at home. Designing them, buying laces, matching hair bands, when I think of it now, I dont know from where did she get so much time and patience to do it. As we grew up, our likes started to change, we liked Chinese, Continental food too along with our own. My mom took every cooking classes she could take in our small city. I remember she learnt to bake Black Forest cake and replaced the rum with cola. There was a time where you name a dish and it’s in front of you that evening. She used to try to incorporate healthy nutrients, replace unhealthy ones without compromising on taste. We used to get irritated as teenagers, why does she make everything at home, it’s so much pain, especially when you can go to restaurant and have it. She used to spend hours cooking for us in the era of two minutes noodles.
I remember one incident. I stayed away from home for my undergrad years, I just complained mom of being tired eating mess food and feel like eating puran poli and katachi amti (traditional maharashtrian-Indian delicacies). Same evening after coming home from college, I was welcomed with those and my mom who cooked for 3 hours and drove for 4 hours just to fulfill my wish. When I go back in time and think about it, it makes me cry how selfless love can make you.
I was never like her. I used to tell my dad “I am never going to toil in kitchen” I have lived with at least 30 roomies in my life and all will agree I would never ever go to kitchen to cook. I would rather help cleaning the mess later.
But I don’t know what changed gradually that I started taking interest in cooking. I have developed a passion for making sure I have tried all those dishes that I and my family like. I began to get addicted to doing it because I realized there is a difference in market bought and hand made. Same difference as rented house vs own house. Or handmade greeting vs store bought one. You get an emotional satisfaction. It’s a product made of love and care towards your family. I never knew love can also be expressed this way. It doesn’t have to be rosy pink flowers , date nights or gate away or expensive gifts.
Indians believe in traditions of fasting for your partner, but I believe in expressing my love by feeding. There are few things that money can’t buy and satisfaction is one of them. This is a transaction where you give and gain satisfaction. It’s win win situation either ways. I salute all those beautiful hearts who take so much pain and efforts so that the family is well fed. If your wife/husband/mom/dad do it for you, you are the luckiest person. I learnt it very late in my life, did not give justice to my mom or grandma for showering us with so much love. Even if one person reads and realizes it, it would be like a tribute I pay to my grandma who is not with us and I miss her very much.
Hello Charuta,
ReplyDeleteIt is very difficult to draft your thoughts in words. You have nicely done it.
all the best and keep it up.
Thank you J.
Delete