Gajra

Teenage is a time where friendship is everything, literally everything. This is a picture of my "Everything". A picture of me with my bestie, Priyanka in it and my Favorite roomie Apeksha behind it. This picture is special in so many ways. Its clicked around end of 2005, College Traditional Day. I decided to wear "PAITHANI", mom's Paithani. If you are a maharashtrian girl, you would know, how special a Paithani is. I had all these ideas how I am going to dress up, fully traditional, typical MARATHI MULAGI. I am not a person who gets this urge of getting dressed, putting on make up everyday, but when I get it (once in a blue moon kinda way), I have a picture in my mind and I want it perfect.
Me and Pri went shopping for getting those perfect bangles, thushi, nath, chandrakor, everything that a marathi mulagi would have.
The day came and my roomie Apeksha was more excited for me. We woke up early morning, she draped me this beautiful saree, put subtle make up, made the typical middle partition bun, and then we realized we dont have "Gajra" to go with the bun. We had completely forgot to buy a fresh one last night. I was so disappointed. Where m I going to get a Gajra on Singhgad Road as early at 7 am? The perfectionist in me was haunting me. I was missing that finishing touch. I took the bus for college with a disappointed grim on my face. That "Gajra" had power to rule over my day. I felt I shouldnt go. But I had to show up for my bestie, I couldn't ruin her day. I met Pri on college bus stop and we started walking towards college. She could clearly make out my disappointment from my face. She was trying to console me (yes console, thats how sad I was, what do you expect from a 19 year old anyway).
We reach our college gate and there I see Apeksha (my roommate who wasnt in my college). I was surprised, I just took a bus to college saying her good bye. What is she doing here? Then she shows me the "Gajra". After I left on 50 mins Busride for college, she took an auto to Sarasbaug, bought fresh Gajra and reached my college, waiting for me at the gate. There you go she said, two things were missing, a Gajra and a Smile.
That Gajra was a promise she gave me, a promise of friendship for eternity. She knew Pri was my bestie, but that never changed her love and friendship for me. I dont know what I have done to deserve this bond, this love but these two girls have always been there for me. I become that spoilt teenager when I am with them. They spoil me even today.
Little things matter so much in life. I will never forget this day. We had so much fun. We did not have fancy picture clicking cell phones in those days. We went to a studio to get this picture clicked.

PERFECT. JUST PERFECT.

TO GET RID

Many of us have a habit of making a resolution every New Year. It’s altogether a different story whether we stick to it or not. I have only followed one resolution my whole life; to have a different New Year resolution every year, which evaporates by the end of February every time. Still I think it’s a good thing to have a resolution every year. Not only does it indicate that we accept the fact that we are not perfect and we have some bad habits, vices or incompetencies, but it also shows a positive sign that we want to try to improve or introduce something good in our life.

          As 2017 was coming to an end, my mind started thinking about what should be my resolution for next year.  2017 was overall a good year. It started with moving into a new house and unpacking. Couple of days later, my office moved to the next bay. As the year ended, couple of people in my friend circle moved to new houses. So overall it was a “moving” year. And one thing struck my cord “how much stuff we own?” Do we really use all of it? Do we really need all of it? I remember repeating this thought at least 2-3 times that I don’t believe I entered US 8 years back with only 2 check in and 1 carry on. Now I need 2 trips in a U-Haul truck to move my stuff.  While helping my friends move, I overheard their argument, one of them wanted to throw away lots of things and other thought it should be kept. It reminded me of a song line from Hrithik Roshan’s movie “Khali haath aye the hum, khali haath jayenge” (we came empty handed; we will leave with empty hands). And that’s when I got my New Year’s resolution: TO GET RID.

        Of course it does sound a mature resolution of a 30 year old. I have been denying acting like my age all these years, but 30 came as a wakeup call last November. Baby time to wake up from teenage dream and do something meaningful in life…. Anyways so back our resolution. Yes TO GET RID……but WHAT exactly?

         Stuff? Thoughts? Bad habit? Baggage from the past? Looks like it’s not simple as it sounds. So I decided to start with something day to day and also to keep putting hunting eyeglasses everywhere for matter that I want to get rid of. Believe me my eyes hurt, because those who know me well would definitely understand my eyes are trained to hunt for having things as keeper. I keep all things with me. Some as souvenirs, some, which I think, they might be useful. Some I think, I need but never end up using them at all. Documents I am too lazy to sort through. And as scary as it looked, it gave me the driving force. This is a perfect resolution to start with if I have to start living like an adult.

         Well I began with my purse. And believe me it feels 50% lighter than I had been carrying for million years now. It was a real good feeling. It felt as if my purse is open for new things. Fresh things. She is “in” for a change now. That was a good start. And I am supposing first time in my life, I am thinking about a resolution that I am going to follow for a long time.

          My next move is my office drawers. And then I have decided I am going to pick one corner of my house every weekend and hunt for things I don’t need. Either donate them to needy or trash them with proper disposal.

          I think similar treatment is needed for our emotions as well. I have decided I am going to get rid of all bad emotions I have. If I was being irritated by something, I have decided to outgrow that irritation. If I had any bad feelings for anyone in the past I am going to get rid of those to and begin with a fresh attitude towards them. I realized that forgiving is nothing but to get rid of negativity brought to you by that person. When you are forgiving someone, its like you are earning peace for yourself. So any bitterness for anybody is no more from 2018. Everything is going to be new/ fresh and clear. If you are good to me from now on, I am good to you.

           Soon I realized again, it’s not as simple as it sounds. Once that you have decided TO GET RID, there comes an equally important job with it; not to gather stuff in future so that you don’t have to get rid of anything else again.

          And my mind and heart are battling with each other. Do you mind peeking inside and listen to their conversation?

HEART: Hmmm….looks like it’s a vicious cycle and it will end only if you do both the things at same time. Get rid of old stuff and not gather useless new stuff. Fair enough. That will be a deal. No more stupid shopping. No more procrastination when it comes to sorting stuff. Looks like this chain reaction should stop in sometime.

MIND: But wait…..what about people? Once that you have decided you are going to forgive people who have been behaving like nuisance in your life. They might not have that resolution and they will still do the same again and again.  You will keep getting crap again and again…..and what are you going to do? GET RID of emotions? That’s it? Don’t you think you are a scapegoat of your own resolution?

HEART: Dear Mind what are you exactly trying to say? Don’t tell me you are getting “THERE”?

MIND: Yes exactly beloved Mr. Heart, even though we don’t agree upon anything ever, we know each other too well. You know exactly what I am talking about. Why don’t we get rid of people who give us crappy feeling and surround only with those people who are good, treat with respect. Not only now but always and not only to you but to everyone. Remember AJOBA (my grandpa) taught us always. “A man is known by company he keeps”.

HEART: Behave yourself MIND. You are being very selective about what grandpa taught. Keeping company doesn’t mean get rid of unwanted people. It doesn’t mean cut off people. It doesn’t have to be extreme. You can also be neutral. Keep safe distance but not cut off.

MIND: Ohh you diplomatic Heart!!!!!

HEART: Diplomacy? I don’t even know what it means. I run on emotions. That’s what my job is. Please don’t play this “MIND” games with me. Everyone deserves fair chance. No way cutting off people is not the way. Otherwise sweetheart please drop this resolution.

MIND: ye lo…shuru ho gaya iska emotional drama (Heart started his melodrama as usual)

HEART: There are so many different people in your life. Most of them are good few of them are not. Why do you have to highlight the fewer not so good ones?

MIND: Because hello…wake up from dream….get a cup of LOGIC….we are talking about getting rid of….good people are out of picture right now. Once we decide we are cleansing…..I want to do a job 100%

HEART: Ohh right…makes sense….I am so used to making efforts to make feel better. LOGIC is your FORTE dear Mind. I give this to you. But still, even if we consider this miniscule amount of people. Yet all are not same, some are jealous, some are “NOT MY JOB kinda people, some are selfish, some are too sweet when they need you, some are rude, some treating everyone inferior or superior depending on money, why should they have same treatment?

MIND: No No No…..please. Are you really going to get “THERE?” That’s why people say heart is so complex. Are you going to deal case by case? What is it? A Court? Keep it simple Man….TO BE OR NOT TO BE must be the question.

HEART: Mr Mind Don’t copy dialogues from great authors come up with your own. Use your “BRAIN”

MIND: hello….excuse me….diversion from topic….

HEART: OK FINE…..I know we are not going to agree with each other but we have put up our say on this. Let her decide whatever she wants.

MIND: Yes all right. One of the rare moments, when I have to say “all right” to you, Mr. Heart.

        My god these two never ever agree on anything. But both of them had a valid point. Believe me when you grow having a single parent, suddenly you come across changed behavior of so many people and you see you have these ill feelings for many of them who want to use your bad situation for selfish motives, who think you have become weak and they can take advantage of that? Some stop talking to you with fear of needing to help. I have many such people that I don’t think good for them. But by god’s grace, the situation also shows who your true friends are. And I have so many of them, which never bothered me to think about anyone else.

        Finally I came up with a conclusion considering whatever both of them had to say. I am going to start clean with everyone. I have no hard feelings for anyone. Even if someone behaves badly, I will give them benefit of doubt of situational circumstances. I will forgive him or her but only to certain limit. If I think, it’s repeating itself again and again. I will keep safe distance from that person. This will be cleansing of emotions.

         I am hoping to have a clutter free, happy and relaxed 2018….Good luck to you too for your Resolution. If you don’t have one, GET ONE…..!!!!

Olympics and India

Rio Olympics 2016 has just ended with very bright commencement ceremony. As usual USA and China turned to be the gold diggers. P.V. Sindhu won Silver, Sakshi Malik won bronze and Dipa Karmakar earned lots n lots of praise for her Produnova vault for India. (I know you must be thinking we all know it, why the summary....because give it 2-3 years we will definitely forget their names just like we did for Mary Kom and Karnam Malleshwari, but the movie Mary Kom helped us remember her). Couple of incidences happened this RIO season which made me think and put my thoughts together about it.

Incident 1: The famous Shobha De tweet which is a "good" example of how badly can "freedom of speech" and "social media" can be used for demotivating someone. It was no less than bullying or "ragging" as we call it.

Incident 2: An informal chat with my office colleagues about progress of each others countries in Olympics. This happened at the time when we dint even have one medal but Dipa Karmakar did a remarkable job standing fourth. And as usual came the question "why is it that second populous country of the world doesn't even have 1 medal yet?".  I was speechless. I just smiled and said "we are like that one youngest kid who enters in the competition against much more experienced adults. He is competing not just to win but also to learn".

Incident 3: A nasty discussion(argument you can say) with fellow schoolmate on "who takes the blame for not performing better as compared to other countries in Olympics". She dint have an answer to who actually takes the blame but she definitely had one stand that its not INDIA as country or Government nor the INDIAN people.

Incident 4: One more burning tweet by Piers Morgan quoting "Country with 1.2 billion people wildly celebrates 2 loosing medals. How embarrassing is that? "

I quoted these incidences because we all face at least one of them day to day. We think about it till OLYMPICS environment is alive in the air and forget about it until next one is about to come. I thought its my individual duty and responsibility being CITIZEN of INDIA to answer these questions not to the world but at least myself.

Every problem has a solution. We not performing well in Olympics is a "problem". And to find a solution, we must first accept that we have something lacking on ourselves hence is the problem. Now the question arises...what? The answer should be anyone or more than one of these: TALENT, TRAINING, MANAGEMENT, RESOURCES, MOTIVATION. 

"Ghar ka Khana" (Home cooked Food)

Diwali is around the corner and festive mode is on. I was just chatting with a cousin yesterday regarding the preparations and I suddenly had this happy realization, I have almost turned into my mom and grandma gradually. My ma and grandma are these superwomen who ace everything they touch. Both are a perfect blend of housewife plus working women in their own unique way.

My grandma helped my grandpa with all the responsibilities of farm and various subsidiary ways of income which came along with farming, while he concentrated with his full time job. Almost 50 years back, she had power and independence to spend the money she earned on whatever she liked. I have heard stories from my ma and uncles how she used to take them to city, buy them gifts , jewelry and take them to watch movies etc all by herself. When she turned into a grandmother, she soften a little and she decided to go with the flow and learned what all we liked. She learnt to bake cakes, make ice-creams, accompany us in buying western clothes that we liked. I had never seen a granny baking cakes and cookies before. (Especially because it’s not our tradition).

My ma was a next step ahead. She used to surprise us with beautifully tailored dresses. We would never ever see a thread lying anywhere and no one could guess if the dress is market bought or sewed at home. Designing them, buying laces, matching hair bands, when I think of it now, I dont know from where did she get so much time and patience to do it. As we grew up, our likes started to change, we liked Chinese, Continental food too along with our own. My mom took every cooking classes she could take in our small city. I remember she learnt to bake Black Forest cake and replaced the rum with cola. There was a time where you name a dish and it’s in front of you that evening. She used to try to incorporate healthy nutrients, replace unhealthy ones without compromising on taste. We used to get irritated as teenagers, why does she make everything at home, it’s so much pain, especially when you can go to restaurant and have it. She used to spend hours cooking for us in the era of two minutes noodles.

I remember one incident. I stayed away from home for my undergrad years, I just complained mom of being tired eating mess food and feel like eating puran poli and katachi amti (traditional maharashtrian-Indian delicacies). Same evening after coming home from college, I was welcomed with those and my mom  who cooked for 3 hours and drove for 4 hours just to fulfill my wish. When I go back in time and think about it, it makes me cry how selfless love can make you.

I was never like her. I used to tell my dad “I am never going to toil in kitchen” I have lived with at least 30 roomies in my life and all will agree I would never ever go to kitchen to cook. I would rather help cleaning the mess later.

But I don’t know what changed gradually that I started taking interest in cooking. I have developed a passion for making sure I have tried all those dishes that I and my family like. I began to get addicted to doing it because I realized there is a difference in market bought and hand made. Same difference as rented house vs own house. Or handmade greeting vs store bought one. You get an emotional satisfaction. It’s a product made of love and care towards your family. I never knew love can also be expressed this way. It doesn’t have to be rosy pink flowers , date nights or gate away or expensive gifts.

Indians believe in traditions of fasting for your partner, but I believe in expressing my love by feeding. There are few things that money can’t buy and satisfaction is one of them. This is a transaction where you give and gain satisfaction. It’s win win situation either ways. I salute all those beautiful hearts who take so much pain and efforts so that the family is well fed. If your wife/husband/mom/dad do it for you, you are the luckiest person. I learnt it very late in my life,  did not give justice to my mom or grandma for showering us with so much love. Even if one person reads and realizes it, it would be like a tribute I pay to my grandma who is not with us and I miss her very much.

माझी आज्जी

 आज खूप दिवसांनी काही तरी लिहावसं  वाटलं. खरंतर वाटण्यापेक्षा मुद्दामच लिखाणास सुरुवात केली कुणाच्या तरी आग्रहाखातर. पण काय लिहावं कसं लिहावं काहीच सुचेना. मग विचार केला नवीन वर्ष सुरु झालंय तर  गेल्या वर्षाचा आढावा घ्यावा. बऱ्याच वर्षांनंतर २०१५ हे असं एक वर्ष होतं  जे बरंच  काही घेऊन गेलं पण जाता जाता बरंच काही शिकवून गेलं. मी गमावलेली सगळ्यात मोठी ठेवण म्हणजे माझ्या घरचा  एक ऊर्जा स्रोत …  माझी आज्जी. तिच्या असण्यामुळे आमचं अस्तित्व जन्माला आलं. खरंतर हे तिचं तिलादेखिल  कळलं नसेल की ती आमच्या साठी किती प्रेरणादायी होती. जिद्द, साहस , स्वातंत्र्य  आणि स्वाभिमानाचा अनोखा आणि अलौकिक संगमच म्हणावा लागेल. स्त्री ही  पुरुषाच्या इतकीच कर्तबगार आणि कणखर असू  शकते हे आम्ही तिच्या जगण्यातून शिकत शिकत मोठे झालो. ते आमच्यामध्ये इतकं रुजलं कि एखादं संकट आलं तरी अर्धी भीती नाहीशी होते. खरं सांगायचं तर साध्या शेतकराच्या घरी जन्मली म्हणून, नाहीतर जरा कमी झाशी ची राणीच ती. व्यवहारज्ञान, दूरदृष्टी, आणि सगळ्यात महत्वाचं  म्हणजे चूक झाली तर ती मान्य करण्याचं आणि त्याची जवाबदारी घेण्याचं धाडस सगळ्यांकडेच असतं असं नाही. इतके सगळे headstrong पैलु असूनही तिने आणि एक गोष्ट शिकविली ती म्हणजे इतरांना मदत करणे. तिचेच सगळे गुण माझ्या आई मध्ये आहेत म्हणून मी आजचा हा दिवस पाहू शकते, जिथे मला जे वाटतं ते मी मांडू शकते, इतरांशी share करु शकते. स्वतःची मतं ठळक पणे मांडू शकते.

आजकाल जिकडे तिकडे स्त्री -पुरुष समानता, women empowerment, my life my choice इत्यादी वाद -विवाद , परिसंवाद होत असतात पण ह्या सगळ्यांपेक्षा कित्येक पटीने महत्वाचं आहे घरातल्या स्त्रियांनी ते अंमलात आणून पुढच्या पिढी समोर उदाहरण बनून  राहणे. मी आणि  माझी बहिण अतिशय नशीबवान आहोत की  आम्ही अश्या दोन पिढ्या पाहिल्या ज्यांनी आम्हाला  स्त्री सक्षम असते हे नुसतं सांगितलच नाही तर ते स्वतःच्या जगण्यातून दाखवून दिलं. जेमतेम चौथी शिकलेली माझी आज्जी आयुष्य मात्र बिनकचू  शिकलेली होती. श्रद्धा ठेवा पण अंधश्रद्धा नको हे अगदी लहानपणापासून ऐकत आलो आम्ही. तिच्या वयाच्या बाकीच्या आज्ज्या जेव्हा नवस, उपास, सोवळ  करायच्या तेव्हा ती आम्हाला गोर -गरिबांना मदत करणे, मुक्या प्राण्यांवर प्रेम करणे, ह्याच्यामध्ये देवपण शोधायला लावायची, जाती -जातींमधे भेदभाव न करणे, निसर्गाचा समतोल राखणे हे सर्व शिकवायची. सुट्टीला गेल्यावर भोपळ्याच्या घाऱ्या आणि अनारश्यांसोबत  cake आणि ice -cream हि तितक्याच प्रेमाने बनवून द्यायची . आता विचार केला की  वाटतं कुठून कळायच हे सगळं  तिला? माणूस शिक्षणाने शहाणा होतो तर हे शिक्षण तिला मिळालं कुठून? आणि जर तिला आमच्या सारखी उच्च शिक्षणाची संधी मिळाली असती तर त्याचा  ह्या जगाला किती फायदा झाला असता ?
आज ती आमच्यात नाहीये पण आमच्या मनात आणि विचारात असलेली आज्जी आमच्या बरोबर नेहेमी राहणार आहे आणि पिढी दर पिढी ही  ज्योत आम्ही सतत तेवत ठेवणार आहे. आमच्याकडून jokes ऐकून दिलखुलास पणे हसणारी आज्जी. किती ही  मोठे झालो तरी दिवाळी ला frock घ्यायला पैसे देणारी आज्जी, वेळ पडेल तेव्हा रागावणारी पण चिव्या आणि माव्या म्हणत जवळ घेणारी आज्जी. खुप भाग्य लागतं अशी strong आई आणि आज्जी मिळायला. प्रत्येक घरात जर अशी एक आज्जी असली तर कुठली हि स्त्री स्वतःला कधीच अबला समजणार नाही. अश्या माझ्या आज्जीला माझा सलाम……!!!

तुझीच
चारुता

पाउस......तुमचा आमचा....!!!

              गेले 2-3 दिवस खूप विचित्र  वाटत होतं , काहीतरी रिकामं  असल्यासारख, काहीतरी हरवलंय ,सापडत नाहीये,गमावलंय कि सुटत चाललंय. तसं पाहता काय नाहीये माझ्याकडे? छान घर,फिरायला गाडी, गरजे पुरते किवां थोडेशे जास्तं शिल्लक राहतील इतके पैसे, आवडीचं काम....मग चुकतंय कुठे? पण खूप एकट  वाटतंय .जवळची माणसं  आसपास दिसत नाही म्हणून? फोन वर बोलणं, skype करणं ह्या वरवरच्या आणि तात्पुरत्या औषधांनी बरा होणारा रोग नाहीये हा. लांब राहिल्यानं नात्यातील ओलावा संपणार तर नाही ना हि धास्ती, मातृत्वाच्या उंबरठ्यावर उभारलेल्या माझ्या जिवाभावाच्या मैत्रिणीच्या संसाराची नौका डगमगत चालली आहे, तिला आधार द्यायला न जाता येण्याच हताशपण मनाला सैरभैर करत आहे. अमेरिकेत राहणं म्हणजे सोन्याचा पिंजरा वाटू लागलं आहे. असे आणि अनेक विचारांचा थैमान घेऊनच निद्राधीन झाले.

           सकाळी उठले ते विजेच्या कडकडाटाने, खूप छान वाटले वेळेच्या आधीच का असेना गजराच्या कर्कश्य आवाजाने न उठता जाग आली, एक छोटीशी achievement वाटली.वाफाळलेला आलं -वेलची चा चहा घेऊन वरांड्यात बसले.समोर होत्या मुसळधार पावसाच्या सरी. टपोरे स्वत्छंद थेंब टप टप जमिनीवर पडत होते. मग आठवला  तो शाळेत असतानाचा पावसाळा. जून चा पावसाळा सर्वच बदलून टाकायचा. नवीन वर्ग ,नवीन शिक्षिका, नवीन अभ्यास,नवीन वह्या-पुस्तकं , महिन्याभराच्या भेटीनंतर मैत्रीणीना झालेला आनंद सगळच नवीन आणि हवहवंसं. cycle ने शाळेला न जाता बाबा सोडायला येणार हा आनंद देणारा. पावसामुळे प्रार्थना आणि P .T चा तास वर्गातच बसावे लागणार हे दुख देणारा. खेळायला बाहेर जाण्यासाठी पाऊस जाण्याची वाट पाहणे, तसेच नवीन रेनकोट,छत्री मिरवण्यासाठी पाऊस येण्याची वाट पाहणे. कधी "येरे येरे पावसा " म्हणणे तर कधी "Rain rain go away, come again another day" म्हणणे असा कधी आवडता तर कधी नावडता.खरतर पाऊस तोच असतो वेगळा असतो तो दृष्टीकोन किवां परिस्थिती. परवाच एक उदाहरण वाचल किवा टिव्ही वर ऐकल्याचा आठवतंय. एका माणसाला दोन विवाहित मुली. मोठी चा नवरा शेतकरी. तिला भेटायला गेल्यावर ती म्हणते बाबा पाऊस लौकर आला पाहिजे नाहीतर पेरणी वाया जाईल. धाकटीला भेटायला गेला तिचा नवरा कुंभार, ती म्हणते बाबा पाऊस लौकर नाही आला तर बार होईल नाहीतर खूप नुकसान होईल. आला का आता यक्ष्य प्रश्न ?देवाकडे काय मागवा पाऊस यावा का न यावा?खरंतर त्याच्या हातात काहीच न्हवते. शेवटी त्याने दोघींना एकत्र बोलावले व म्हणाला पाउस आला, पिकं चांगली झाली तर मोठीने धाकटीला मदत करावी आणि पाउस नाही आला, धंदा चांगला झाला तर धाकटीने  मोठीला मदत करावी. असा पावसावर अवलंबून असलेला प्रश्न बिनपावासाचाच सोडवला.

        पाऊस ......प्रत्येकासाठी वेगळा असतो. चातक,शेतकरी प्रेमी युगुल ह्यांना हवाहवासा. तर रस्त्यावरील दुकानदार, चालत, दुचाकीने कामाला जाणार्यांना नकोनकोसा....पाऊस एकंच दृष्टीकोन अनेक.....माणसांचा हि तसच नसतं का? एकच व्यक्ती कोणाचा मित्र तर कोणाचा शत्रू, कुणीतरी त्याच्याशिवाय जगू शकत नाही आणि कुणीतरी त्याच्या सोबत.अगदी वेगवेगळी माणसं कशाला एकाच माणूस घनिष्ट मित्र, सखा सोबती आणि भांडण झाल्यावर तोच व्यक्ती नकोनकोसा होतो. व्यक्ती तोच असतो परिस्थिती वेगळी, पण आपण माणसाना दोष देत बसतो. विचारांची लागलेली तंद्री वाऱ्याने आलेल्या तुषारांनी भंग केली.पाहिलं तर सरीचा जोर ओसरला होता. रस्त्याच्या बाजूने पाणी वाहत होतं. अंगणातील धूळ,कचरा,पाला-पाचोळा सोबत घेऊन, मागे राहिलं होता स्वच्छ अंगण आणि ताजेतवाने वातावरण. आपसूकच पाऊले बाहेरच्या दिशेने वळली.......पावसाकडे......जणू पाऊस येताना माझ्या प्रश्नांची उत्तर सोबतच घेऊन आला होता. डोळे आकाशाकडे टक  लावत होते......जणू त्याला साद घालत होते......बरस मोठ्याने बरस.....इतका कि अगदी मनापर्यंत पोहोच.मनातलं सगळ दुख, सगळी मळभ वाहून ने. मागे ठेव, टवटवीत ताजातवानं मन,नकोसा कचरा दूर कर आणि स्वच्छ कर माझ्या मनाला. मनसोक्त चिंब भिजले पावसात. 

       आता सर्व खरतर तेच आहे अगदी तसंच. पण बदलला आहे तो फक्त माझा दृष्टीकोन...........नवीन,स्वच्छ  आणि आनंदी.............

आपलीच 

चारुता......:-)

LIFE : A PARTY

Facebook वर timepass करता करता एक status वाचनात आल " Life's like a party. You invite a lot of people. Some leave early, Some come late, some stay, some laugh with you, some at you. Some don't come. But in the end, after the fun, there will be a few who will stay and help clean up the mess with you. And most of the time, those were the ones who didn't even make the mess. Those are the people u shud worry abt losing! The rest just come n go " मग नेहेमी प्रमाणे विचार चक्र सुरु झालं, हे किती तंतोतंत खरं आहे नाही का? आपल्या आयुष्यात शेकडो व्यक्ती येतात किवा असं म्हणा ये जा करतात. काही भूतकाळ होतात काही वर्तमान काळात असतात काही भूतकाळात येऊनही भविष्यकाळाची स्वप्नं आपल्या सोबत पाहतात. काही लोक नातेवाईक बनून आपणहून येतात काही लोक मित्र बनून नकळत येतात. आपल्याला option असतो तो केवळ मित्र choose करण्याचा. ह्या वरच्या वाक्यातली mess clean करणारे बहुतांशी आपले मित्रच असतात. आपला मित्र आपल्याला जसा आहे तसा स्वीकारतो infact म्हणूनच तो आपला मित्र असतो. आपल्यातले गुण माहित असोत किवा नसोत दुर्गुण त्याला नक्की माहित असतात आणि ते स्वीकारून ते त्या प्रमाणे आपल्याशी वागत असतो. कुणाला उशिरा पोहोचण्याची सवय असेल तर त्याचा मित्र त्याला वेळेच्या २ तास आधीच येण्यास सांगतो, ह्याला म्हणतात acceptance जे मित्र नेहेमी करत असतात. ह्याचं कारण मैत्र हे दोन मनानंमधल नातं असतं त्याच्या देह बोलीशी व्यावहारिक पणाशी वयाशी काहिही संबंध नसतो. मैत्री कोणामध्येही होऊ शकते एक आजोबा आणि नात एक मेकांचे घनिष्ट मित्र होऊ शकतात. माझ्या लहान पाणी माझा BEST FRIEND माझा जोबा (लाडाने आजोबा ना मी जोबा म्हणायचे) होता. एक शिक्षक आणि एक विद्यार्थी हि BEST FRIEND होऊ शकतात. एक BOSS आणि त्याचा EMPLOYEE हि असू शकतात. जेव्हा दोन व्यक्ती एक मेकाचे खरे मित्र असतात तेव्हा ते दुसऱ्या relation शी मैत्रीची गल्लत कधीच करत नाहीत. गल्लत करतो ते समाज असतो. सगळ्यात वादग्रस्त ठरत असते ती स्त्री आणि पुरुषाची मैत्री. प्रत्येक वेळेला त्यांच्या मैत्री मध्ये INTIMACY च असते असं ग्रह करण्यास त्या दोन व्यक्ती सोडून इतर समाजाला (देव जाणे कुठून) वेळ आणि रस असतो. सर्व सामान्य समाज RATIONAL THINKING करणार हि कुठून? म्हणून तर कदाचित त्यांना सर्व सामान्य किवा MEDIOCRE म्हटलं जातं. RATIONAL THINKING सर्वांनाच जमत आणि सर्वांनाच पटतं असं नाहीये. FRIENSHIP आणि INTIMACY ह्या दोन वेगळ्या आणि दोन्ही हि खूप शुद्ध भावना आहेत. आपला जोडीदार हा आपला मित्र असावा हे बरोबर. हि अपेक्षा प्रत्येक व्यक्तीची असते कारण प्रेमा बरोबर  आपल  मन समझून घेण्याची दुसरी भूमिका जर आपल्या जोडीदाराने केली तर आयुष्य सुरळीत आणि अनादी होतं. कारण प्रत्येक व्यक्तीला आपला मन समझून घेणारा एक मित्र हवा असतो. कारण जिथे प्रेम येत तिथे हक्क, POSSESIVENESS ह्या हि भावना येतात तिथे कधी कधी मनाची कोंडी होऊ शकते तिथे हवा असतो ते एक मित्र. मग ते मुलगा आहे कि मुलगी, सर आहे कि नोकर, आजोबा आहे कि काका ह्याला महत्व नसतं, महत्व असतं ते त्याच्या भावनेला, त्याच्या मनाला, त्याच्या मनातल्या आपल्या काळजीला.
आजकाल च्या आमच्या पिढीची BEST FRIEND ची definition  हि आहे कि रात्री ४ वाजता हि हक्काने काल करून उठवू शकतो ते खरं मित्र. एकदम simple आणि सोप्पी. पण असेही ३-४ मिळतील. पण असाहि  ऐक मित्र असेल कि जो हा विचार करेल कि ४ वाजता call करण्याची वेळाही येऊ नये. आणि समझा त्याला तुमचा phone आलाच तर नक्की काय झालंय हे हि त्याला न सांगता बहुतांश वेळा कळेल. आजच्या पिढीचे definitions बदलले आहेत पण ते किती RATIONAL झाले आहेत ह्यात मला खरच शंका वाटते. आपण मजा पैसा status ह्या मागे इतके धावतो आहे कि आपल्या आजूबाजूला असलेल्या प्रत्येक व्यक्ती कडे OCCUPATIONAL POINT OF VIEW ने पाहतो आहे. ती स्वच्छंदी निर्मळ मैत्री त्यातले हसू त्यातले समाधान अनुभवायला वेळच नाहीये. जरा डोकवा आपल्या आजूबाजूला शोध ते एक मन, ती एक व्यक्ती ज्याला तुम्ही १०० टक्के माहिती आहात. तुम्ही काही हि आणि कसे हि वागू शकता तिच्याशी/त्याच्या शी. मित्र फक्त समवयस्क च असतात असं नाही विचार तुमच्या मनाला ती तुमची आई आत्या classmate collegue अगदी बाजूच्या बिल्डिंग मधली कोणी मुलगी हि असू शकते किवा कोपऱ्या वरचा किवा नाक्यावर थांबणारा गल्लीतला मुलगा हि असू शकतो. 
LIFE जर एक PARTY असेल तर येणाऱ्या सर्वांचे आदरातिथ्य करा अगदी आवडत्या आणि नावडत्या लोकांचे हि. पण थोडासा respect  थोडीशी कदर त्यांची हि करा जे नेहेमी तुमची साथ द्यायला तयार आहेत. त्यांच्या सोबत MESS CLEAN करा तुमच्या party  ची हि आणि त्यांच्या PARTY ची हि.