Many of us have a habit of making a resolution every New Year. It’s altogether a
different story whether
we stick to it or
not. I have only followed one resolution my whole life; to have a different New
Year resolution every year, which evaporates by the end of February every time. Still I think it’s a good
thing to have a
resolution every year. Not
only does it indicate
that we accept the fact that we are not perfect and we have some bad habits,
vices or incompetencies,
but it also shows a positive sign that we want to try to improve or introduce
something good in our life.
As 2017 was coming to an end, my mind started thinking about
what should be my resolution for next year.
2017 was
overall a good year. It started with moving into a new house and unpacking. Couple of days later, my
office moved to the
next bay. As the year ended, couple of people in my friend circle moved to new
houses. So overall it was a “moving” year. And one thing struck my cord “how
much stuff we own?” Do we really use all of it? Do we really need all of it? I
remember repeating this thought at least 2-3 times that I don’t believe I
entered US 8 years back with only 2 check in and 1 carry on. Now I need 2 trips
in a U-Haul truck to move my stuff.
While helping my friends move, I overheard their argument, one of them
wanted to throw away lots of things and other thought it should be kept. It
reminded me of a song line from Hrithik Roshan’s movie
“Khali haath aye the hum, khali haath jayenge” (we came empty handed; we will
leave with empty hands). And that’s when I got my New Year’s resolution: TO GET
RID.
Of course it does sound a mature resolution of a 30 year
old. I have been denying acting like my age all these years, but 30 came as a wakeup
call last November. Baby time to wake up from teenage dream and do something
meaningful in life…. Anyways so back our resolution. Yes TO GET RID……but WHAT
exactly?
Stuff? Thoughts? Bad habit? Baggage from the past? Looks
like it’s not simple as it sounds. So I decided to start with something day to
day and also to keep putting hunting eyeglasses everywhere for matter that I
want to get rid of. Believe me my eyes hurt, because those who know me well
would definitely understand my eyes are trained to hunt for having things as
keeper. I keep all things with me. Some as souvenirs, some, which I think, they
might be useful. Some I think, I need but never end up using them at all.
Documents I am too lazy to sort through. And as
scary as it looked, it gave me the driving force. This is a perfect resolution to
start with if I have to start living like an adult.
Well I began with my purse. And believe me it feels 50%
lighter than I had been carrying for million years now. It was a real good
feeling. It felt as if my purse is open for new things. Fresh things. She is
“in” for a change now. That was a good start. And I am supposing first time in
my life, I am thinking about a resolution that I am going to follow for a long
time.
My next move is my office drawers. And then I have decided I
am going to pick one corner of my house every weekend and hunt for things I
don’t need. Either donate them to needy or trash them with proper disposal.
I think similar treatment is needed for our emotions as
well. I have decided I am going to get rid of all bad emotions I have. If I was
being irritated by something, I have decided to outgrow that irritation. If I
had any bad feelings for anyone in the past I am going to get rid of those to
and begin with a fresh attitude towards them. I realized that forgiving is
nothing but to get rid of negativity brought to you by that person. When you
are forgiving someone, its like you are earning peace for yourself. So any
bitterness for anybody is no more from 2018. Everything is going to be new/
fresh and clear. If you are good to me from now on, I am good to you.
Soon I realized again, it’s not as simple as it sounds. Once
that you have decided TO GET RID, there comes an equally important job with it;
not to gather stuff in future so that you don’t have to get rid of anything else
again.
And my mind and heart are battling with each other. Do you
mind peeking inside and listen to their conversation?
HEART: Hmmm….looks like it’s a vicious cycle and it
will end only if you do both the things at same time. Get rid of old stuff and
not gather useless new stuff. Fair enough. That will be a deal. No more stupid
shopping. No more procrastination when it comes to sorting stuff. Looks like
this chain reaction should stop in sometime.
MIND: But wait…..what about people? Once that you
have decided you are going to forgive people who have been behaving like
nuisance in your life. They might not have that resolution and they will still
do the same again and again. You will
keep getting crap again and again…..and what are you going to do? GET RID of
emotions? That’s it? Don’t you think you are a scapegoat of your own
resolution?
HEART: Dear Mind what are you exactly trying to say?
Don’t tell me you are getting “THERE”?
MIND: Yes exactly beloved Mr. Heart, even though we
don’t agree upon anything ever, we know each other too well. You know exactly
what I am talking about. Why don’t we get rid of people who give us crappy
feeling and surround only with those people who are good, treat with respect. Not
only now but always and not only to you but to everyone. Remember AJOBA (my
grandpa) taught us always. “A man is known by company he keeps”.
HEART: Behave yourself MIND. You are being very
selective about what grandpa taught. Keeping company doesn’t mean get rid of
unwanted people. It doesn’t mean cut off people. It doesn’t have to be extreme.
You can also be neutral. Keep safe distance but not cut off.
MIND: Ohh you diplomatic Heart!!!!!
HEART: Diplomacy? I don’t even know what it means. I
run on emotions. That’s what my job is. Please don’t play this “MIND” games
with me. Everyone deserves fair chance. No way cutting off people is not the
way. Otherwise sweetheart please drop this resolution.
MIND: ye lo…shuru ho gaya iska emotional drama (Heart
started his melodrama as usual)
HEART: There are so many different people in your
life. Most of them are good few of them are not. Why do you have to highlight
the fewer not so good ones?
MIND: Because hello…wake up from dream….get a cup of
LOGIC….we are talking about getting rid of….good people are out of picture
right now. Once we decide we are cleansing…..I want to do a job 100%
HEART: Ohh right…makes sense….I am so used to making
efforts to make feel better. LOGIC is your FORTE dear Mind. I give this to you.
But still, even if we consider this miniscule amount of people. Yet all are not
same, some are jealous, some are “NOT MY JOB kinda people, some are selfish,
some are too sweet when they need you, some are rude, some treating everyone
inferior or superior depending on money, why should they have same treatment?
MIND: No No No…..please. Are you really going to get
“THERE?” That’s why people say heart is so complex. Are you going to deal case
by case? What is it? A Court? Keep it simple Man….TO BE OR NOT TO BE must be
the question.
HEART: Mr Mind Don’t copy dialogues from great
authors come up with your own. Use your “BRAIN”
MIND: hello….excuse me….diversion from topic….
HEART: OK FINE…..I know we are not going to agree
with each other but we have put up our say on this. Let her decide whatever she
wants.
MIND: Yes all right. One of the rare moments, when I
have to say “all right” to you, Mr. Heart.
My god these two never ever agree on anything. But both of
them had a valid point. Believe me when you grow having a single parent,
suddenly you come across changed behavior of so many people and you see you
have these ill feelings for many of them who want to use your bad situation for
selfish motives, who think you have become weak and they can take advantage of
that? Some stop talking to you with fear of needing to help. I have many such
people that I don’t think good for them. But by god’s grace, the situation also
shows who your true friends are. And I have so many of them, which never
bothered me to think about anyone else.
Finally I came up with a conclusion considering whatever
both of them had to say. I am going to start clean with everyone. I have no
hard feelings for anyone. Even if someone behaves badly, I will give them
benefit of doubt of situational circumstances. I will forgive him or her but
only to certain limit. If I think, it’s repeating itself again and again. I
will keep safe distance from that person. This will be cleansing of emotions.
I am hoping to have a clutter free, happy and relaxed 2018….Good
luck to you too for your Resolution. If you don’t have one, GET ONE…..!!!!
